The Czar of Amerika
Campbell Alternative News
Since President Trump met with Russian President Vladimir Putin in Hamburg, Germany on July 7th, the two have become fast friends and are in communication regularly, sometimes by phone, but often through Twitter or other social media. In fact, Trump claims that he is learning a lot about politics and being President from his conversations with Putin. He plans to put some of his newfound knowledge into action in the very near future.
His first steps will be to change his job title to Czar, and to replace the “c” in America with a ‘k”. But this is just the beginning. Putin has given him advice on how to deal with a lot of the “fake news” and public opinion polls that have plagued Trump since his inauguration in January. Putin has also advised him on how to handle the senate, the court system and what to do about those nasty elections that keep coming up every four years. Following Putin’s advice, Trump plans to do away with the eight year limit for Presidency.
Trump is planning a complete reshuffling of his cabinet. To help him with this, Putin has offered the services of his General Secretary and Secretary of Defense, Valery Gerasimov. Gerasimov will not only help Trump to choose a suitable cabinet, he will also be looking at restructuring the FBI. Everything will be updated, including the name, which will shift from The Federal Bureau of Investigation to the Konsolidated Governing Bureau, and it will take on the role of investigating any criticism of the President and his work. Trump says that he is very much looking forward to having this feature in place.
President Trump claims to be enjoying his relationship with President Putin. He says, “There is so much pressure in this job that I wasn’t expecting, it is nice to have someone who understands. Someone I can talk with about important decisions I have to make in my duties who can offer me his advice and experience.”
Both men expect to prosper greatly from their relationship. The question is, will the country survive? Amerika that is. Please pay no attention to the man behind the iron curtain I just received a call from President Trump’s new Head of Security, so this may very well be my last report for Campbell Alternative News. Signing off.
Brian Campbell is a reporter for Campbell Alternative News.