A Brand New Year, A Brand New Rant
Brian Campbell


Here we are in 2018, and Donald Trump is still tweeting from the throne in the White House. I don’t know about you, but I didn’t see that one coming and now I have bets to pay off. Of course, Trump still being in office has implications that cause unease, not only in the United States, but worldwide. Will he start a war with North Korea? Will he pull the United States out of the North American Free Trade Agreement? Will he actually show up at Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s wedding? Will he replace the White House chef with a McDonald’s franchise?

North of the border, we have our own concerns. Manitoba Premier and Canadian Ambassador to Costa Rica, Brian Pallister, took some time away from his eight month vacation and his diligent efforts to dismantle Manitoba’s Health Care system to speak at a Winnipeg Chamber of Commerce meeting in December. There he attempted to follow the sterling examples provided by President Trump and Harvey Weinstein by commenting, not on the WCC Chair’s business achievements, but on her clothing and shoes. But to be fair, Mr. Pallister may be planning ahead for a potential future career in retail when this one crashes. May I suggest checking with the White House? I hear that they are looking for a short order cook.  How are you at flipping burgers?

On a Federal level, Prime Minister Trudeau is thinking about, well, uh… Ok, let’s face it. There is a very real possibility that even he has no idea what the hell he is thinking from one minute to the next.

But of all the problems that Canada is facing, one very important item stands out in my mind. That item, of course, is PETA’s plan to convince the Canadian government to begin taxing meat in order to encourage (force) people to switch to a plant based diet. I, personally, think this an incredibly cruel plan. How can you look a potato in the eye and say that you plan to uproot his entire family in order to feed your selfish agenda? I don’t want to be the one to have to tell the Brussels sprouts and cabbages that heads are going to roll. After all, plants are living things. They have feelings too. Corn, lend me your ears, to feed my family.

What about all of the poor cattle, pigs and chickens? Who wants to tell them that their services no longer meat our needs? How are they going to feel when their sense of purpose is taken from them and replaced by a bunch of radishes? What will they do now? It’s not as if they can just leave like lettuce or spinach.

This is broccoli!  See! It doesn’t work. This is bull! What would we do without cattle? I say Hell No! We won’t go vegan! How is a person on a plant based diet supposed to face the dog eat dog world of business? We’ll lose our hunting edge. Dull our fangs. Please Prime Minister Trudeau, we are in a real pickle here and getting a raw deal. Don’t soften when they turn up the heat, but toughen like good leather. Support us in our beef with PETA. We have so much at steak here. A1 on the list is this, so please remember. Our cattle industry and potential access to a good cheeseburger may just be a vital point in the NAFTA agreement. Think about it.