He’s Number One
by
Brian Campbell

Full Article with Picture: https://highhopescommunications.ca/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/Hes-Number-One.pdf

Donald Trump is the greatest President in the history of the United States! Just ask him. He’ll tell you. In fact, according to the Book of Trump, everything he does is done better than it has ever been done before. Ever! Case in point: he had a bigger crowd at his inauguration than any President in history; his administration has accomplished more than any other in the history of the United States; nobody is stronger, draws crowds, loves the Bible, has better toys, is more conservative, builds walls, knows the system, understands debt, understands infrastructure, understands trade, is better at the military, is better to people with disabilities, has ever fought for veterans, has done more for equality, respects women more than he does, just to name a few. The list goes on and on…and on…and on…

By the same token, nobody has ever had to deal with the same problems, or even has the knowledge of how to deal with the problems that he and his administration has had to deal with. For instance, the hurricanes that devastated Puerto Rico, Texas, North and South Carolina were such that, “Nobody has ever seen anything like this before.” What? There were no hurricanes before Donald Trump saw one? Admittedly, Maria was the worst hurricane to hit Puerto Rico in 85 years, but when considering recorded history, that is hardly never. Nor does it take into account the hurricanes that hit places around the world annually. In Trump’s words, “Something like this has never been seen. This is an island. Surrounded by…water…big water…ocean water.” That’s right Mr. President, Puerto Rico is an island, much like Hawaii, the Florida Keys, Cuba, Jamaica, Haiti & the Dominican Republic, the Virgin Islands, the Philippines, Japan…Shall I go on? All of these have dealt with hurricanes before and undoubtedly will deal with them again. This is something new only to you. When discussing Hurricane Florence, President Trump described it as being, “One of the wettest we’ve seen, from the standpoint of water.” Right again Mr. President, there is a lot of water. That is one of the defining features of a hurricane, right up there with wind, something with which I know you are familiar. And you are also right, it is one of the wettest, at least since Harvey last year. Did you miss that one?

Just as large amounts of water define a hurricane, Donald Trump can be defined by having large amounts of ego. Nothing has ever been seen heard or done until it has been seen, heard or done by The Donald. If he hasn’t heard of it before, nobody has, if he doesn’t know it, nobody does. Nothing exists until he recognizes it as existing. He is a legend in his own mind.

But, although Donald Trump would like to give himself credit for Creation itself, there are some things for which he truly can take credit. For example. He is the first US President to have a gigantic balloon created to look like himself in a diaper flown over London, England. He is the first US President, indeed the first person anywhere in the history of Google who could be Google searched simply by keying in the word “Idiot”. It was only a couple of weeks before even Google gave up on him, but he did it. More world leaders at the UN have publicly laughed at him than any President in history. He may be the first US President in history to be denied entry to both a British Royal wedding and a US political funeral within the same year. And he may be the only President in history to turn his country into a global laughingstock. In fact, it may be safe to say that no world leader in history has been watched by the rest of the world with such a mixture of scorn, disbelief, ridicule and fear. So congratulations President Trump, you are without a doubt, Number One.