U.S. Republicans Finally Admit That it was All an Elaborate Hoax
Campbell Alternative News
On Saturday, April 1st, the U.S. Republican Party has finally come forward and admitted that the whole Trump Election was all an elaborate hoax that they played on the American voters. They said that after years of being ridiculed and laughed at by everyone from stand-up comedians, to talk show hosts, to the average guy who thought that he was being funny at a party, especially after the George W. Bush years; they decided to turn the tables. It was very well planned out, with a large number of people in key positions involved, including bringing in Ashton Kutcher of TV’s Punk’d to choreograph the entire campaign and make sure it went off without a hitch. Kutcher is very proud of his work and says that it is very likely the highlight of his career.
Even former President Barack Obama and Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton admit to being in on the joke. They enjoyed their role in the deception although Obama said that he was very surprised that so many people bought into it. In an interview with Campbell Alternative News, Obama said, “I mean, threatening to have Clinton arrested for her e-mails and saying he was going to build a wall along the border and have the Mexicans pay for it. I just didn’t think that would fly with so many people.”
Russian President, Vladimir Putin flashed a rare smile as he revealed his part in the hoax. His office was coordinating with the Republican Party from the very beginning in order to provide “leaks” at crucial times and raise concerns about Trump’s ties with Russia. Putin’s help in carrying out the plan was vital as it turns out that he has better connections in the U.S.A. than the FBI or the CIA. Putin claims that he had to do it because, “Everyone is always saying that I don’t have a sense of humour. Well, now they know.”
The Republican Party has also revealed their true candidate and real President of the United States, Mr. Ed. It turns out the American people have actually elected a whole horse, instead of just the hind quarters. In fact, it may turn out that Mr. Ed is just what America needs, he is experienced, intelligent, articulate and has lots of horse sense. He is very concerned about the environment and fair treatment of animals. He is also willing to work for hay.
In fact, it turns out that the only person in the government who wasn’t in on the joke, was Donald Trump himself, who really believed that he was President. When called upon for a comment, Trump said, “It’s not fair! I won’t go! I won’t! I won’t!
Brian Campbell is a reporter for Campbell Alternative News – Alternative Facts Division